What My Blog is Really All About

If you’ve spent any length of time following my blog, have you noticed it?

The common theme Prayers of a Daisy has (unbeknownst to me) been centered on?

I literally woke up this morning and thought to myself while still lying in bed, “Holy crap! My blog has been about this the whole time.”

You can see it in the language I’ve used to describe my blog, calling it a place for those of us who’ve found what we’ve always believed no longer seems to fit with our life experiences.

It’s there woven into many of the posts I’ve written.

I came to realize that I had somehow latched onto faulty theology.” 

As I stared at all my broken expectations shattered on the floor around me, I felt like a complete failure of an adult.

I feel like a spiritual outsider.

 “I am failing at Christianity. At least according to the standards I once had.

A series of big life events culminated with an explosion of everything I thought I had figured out about my life and faith. That’s when the dark clouds of depression rolled in.

It’s even blatantly there in the first blog post I ever wrote:

My mind was constantly buzzing with deep, existential questions that I wish I knew how to tone down. But I found out I am not the only one feeling as if the worldview I graduated college with had fallen apart, and was now left to figure out what I believed about life and faith all over again. This shattered reality I have is what prompts me to write, and it’s what prompted me to start this blog.

It’s been the heartbeat of this blog since day one.

 Do you see it, friend? It’s deconstruction.

That “shattered reality” life dealt me that prompted me to start this blog had a name, and since then, I’ve learned what I originally set out to chronicle through Prayers of a Daisy is my story of a thing called deconstruction.

deconstruction

David Hayward defines deconstruction as “the changing of our beliefs, the loss of faith, the shift in our religious habits and behaviors, and the transformation of our inner and social selves.” It’s a process of asking the hard questions, being brave enough to reevaluate long-held beliefs, and restructuring your faith from a deeply personal place of authenticity—not from a place of pressure created by external religious expectations.

It’s only been recently that I’ve really dived headfirst into this tumultuous, confusing, and isolating process of deconstruction. It’s meant coming to terms with changing theology, owning a less-than-picture-perfect understanding of reality, and embracing the fact that I am still okay in God’s eyes despite all of these major internal shifts.

I recently had the honor of writing a guest post on the blog of life coach, author, and friend Steve Austin, detailing the story of my experience going through deconstruction. You can click here to read the post about why viewing deconstruction as “purposeful demolition” has been so life-giving to me during this hard season.

If you’re looking for more regarding what deconstruction is, I’d highly recommend starting with these great resources:

For anyone who may be or has gone through a period of deconstruction like this, I’d love to hear from you—what has your experience been like?

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